A poem written by an Incarcerated Woman
Be still and know that I am God.
For in the beginning was the Word
And the Word was God.
But I found that odd.
cause in my beginning there was no Word
and there was no God.
There was only a young mom and dad
wth a bright future to be had.
Add two girls, one big and one little,
all until trouble had to get in the middle.
A family ripped apart,
A tragic death to blame.
My first broken heart
was the only thing to claim.
Father to the Fatherless
so you say
like hope to the hopeless
if I may
My world turned upside down,
always feeling like I would drown.
Feeling abandoned and forgotten
like I had done something rotten
only to again to have my life shaken
when I had my innocence taken.
I was too young to understand
that this wasn’t done at God’s hand.
No longer left with any contentment
Only filled with raging resentment.
So as I continued to grow
He told me to trust and know.
But having a heart turned to stones
left me in the valley of dry bones.
Always the problem child
And that’s putting it mild.
Constantly being labeled
my wrongs always fabled.
I put myself in bad positions
and made all the wrong decisions.
But instead of using them as a lesson
I gave way to even deeper depression.
So while in the background, He said be still
I wanted nothing to do with His will
Looking for love in all the wrong places.
Looking for love in all the wrong faces.
Still trying to fill all of my empty spaces.
Not realizing I was running all the wrong races.
Not knowing I was covered in all of God’s graces.
He says, “Be still my daughter”
For I will never falter
Saying He’ll never leave nor forsake
But I could’ve sworn it was all fake.
I didn’t know how to be still
So instead I took a pill
all while trying to fill
the broken pieces of my life
that always seemed so riddled with strife.
Now all of my hope turned to dope
and soon dope became my hope
Beat down and battered
Nothing else mattered
So I sold my soul for another fix,
even had to turn some tricks
just so I wouldn’t be dopeless.
Trouble kept finding me
Until I was no longer free.
Looking at these bare white walls
Repaying all of my countless falls
Not knowing the one who could change it all
Angry at the one on whom I could call.
But then I heard it,
So clear and distinct.
The Holy Spirit,
not my own instinct
“Be still and know that I am God.”
And this time I knew it wasn’t a fraud.
So when I heard His still small voice,
I knew I had to make my choice
Continue to live in the darkness of sin
or follow the one who came and came to win.
Exchanging what is factual
for the Supernatural
Because all you really need
Is faith of a mustard seed.
I’ve acquired more bumps and bruises along the way
But it’s all been so I can stand here and say
My Lord and Savior is ever so real
All you have to do is accept the deal.
Now I can’t say that I’ve done it all right.
Everyday I still need His insight.
But how I can trust in what I’ve heard
Believe all of the promises of the Word.
I can be the house up on the hill.
If at first I can just be still.